Neighborhood Park Temporarily Closed After Dogs and Cats Declare Separate “Play Zones”

Park officials shut down Maple Tail Park this morning after a dispute between dogs and cats resulted in the creation of two unofficial “play zones.” Dogs claimed the grass field, citing fetch rights, while cats occupied the shaded benches for grooming and judgmental staring.

Mediator squirrels attempted to negotiate but left after both sides refused to compromise. The park will reopen once species agree on proper territory boundaries.